11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention.
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

2:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants.

4:00 PM
Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
Sponsored by CNN

4:15 PM
Address on “Being the Real You”
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and
Caitlyn Jenner

4:30 PM
“How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Broke”
Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM
“How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!”
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

5:00 PM
Medals of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Berghdal
Baltimore Looters

5:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session
Souvenir photographs of Elizabeth Warren dressed in Native American clothing

5:45 PM
Tribute to All of the 57 States
Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi

6:00 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the terminology “Alternative Shoppers” instead of “Looters”

7:30 PM
Announcement of VP Nominee – Stacy Abrams
Former Ambassador to Chris Stevens with a quick a post-mortem rebuttal

8:30 PM
The White House “Semantics Committee” Meeting
General vote on re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as “Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance”

9:00 PM
“Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you”
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times with Guest Speaker, Don Lemon

9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO
by Michael Moore

9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar – “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs”
Hosted by speaker Barack Obama

10:00 PM
Group Condemnation of Bitter Gun Owners.

10:30 PM
Ceremonial “We Surrender” Waving of the White Flag

11:00 PM
Short film, “Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal”
Hosted by Hillary Clinton

11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Kamala Harris
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews