Some humor in this frazzled world in which we live

Hope some of these are new to you. Have a great day     Retired Person’s Perspective

1. I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people.  I’m just saying….. let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands.  If they are holding a gun, she’s probably pissed.

4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you’ve just met?  That’s common sense leaving your body.

5. I don’t like making plans for the day….. because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.

6. I didn’t make it to the gym today.  That makes 1,500 days in a row.

7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers:  If you find one, what’s your plan?

9. Everyone has a right to be stupid.  Politicians just abuse the privilege.

And now the funniest of all:

10. Romney, who couldn’t win a turtle race with a thoroughbred stallion, suddenly is telling us what it takes to become the president. The GOP is really scrambling trying to stop Trump, but the American voter is mad. Go home Romney!

Originally posted 2016-03-03 12:35:46.